Waiting to Watching

The Lord reminded me of things on a to-do list that I could do during this time. Besides service to my family, there is writing and reading that can be accomplished. And it is already a blessing.

I gave the book as a gift. It was never read. Someone else read it. I read the first three chapters at least twice if not thrice over the past six years. Today I'm on chapter 23 and can hardly put it down. 28 chapters to go.

A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael - by Elisabeth Elliot

"The Christian life comes down to two simple things: trust and obedience." Amn't I finding that to be the truth? Later Amy asks, "Could it be right to turn from so much that might be of profit and become just nursemaids?" And Elisabeth writes, "The answer was yes. It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant - he is not greater than his master." Every day matters to Him. Every day can be used by Him. Every day He cares about the condition of my heart.

And I'm being encouraged by others who have found Him to be just as He promises He is - faithful. "The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." Concerning Amy's mother when her father died, Elisabeth writes, "Years later, Amy discovered in the margin of her mother's Bible, next to that promise, a tiny notation: 'Found true all along the line ever since.'" Praise Jesus - He has proven Himself true not just to me! Amy said, "He has been so kind about other things that we cannot doubt but that He will care for this too." As is my testimony, coming to this time in my life. Amy testifies and I echo, "Dear friends, I don't often write of these inner heart-things in my Scrapperies, but to the glory of His name let me witness that in far away lands, in loneliness (deepest sometimes when it seems least so), in times of downheartedness and tiredness and sadness, always always He is near. He does comfort, if we let Him. Perhaps someone as weak and good-for-nothing as even I am may read this. Don't be afraid! Through all circumstances, outside, inside, He can keep me close."

To be like Christ. To displace self from the inner throne, and to enthrone Him; to make not the slightest compromise with the smallest sin. We aim at nothing less than to walk with God all day long, to abide every hour in Christ and He and His words in us, to love God with all the heart and our neighbor as ourselves. ...It is possible to cast every care on Him daily, and to be at peace amidst pressure, to see the will of God in everything, to put away all bitterness and clamor and evil speaking, daily and hourly. It is possible by unreserved resort to divine power under divine conditions to become strongest through and through at our weakest point.
...by Bishop Handly Moule, Thoughts on Christian Sanctity

Elisabeth writes, "Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them." Have I not sat at my Savior's feet these past days, weeks? I could more and more. One of my turning points with my relationship with Him was J.R. passionately telling me, "Tell Him everything and anything. Whatever is on your heart. Just talk to Him. Tell Him. He will deal with it. He has heard everything and knows everything anyway. But you must tell Him. Just talk to Him. Tell Him, Katie. Tell Him all."

And Amy's testimony has reminded me of the realities of where I long to be serving, "Missionary work in a place where Christ has never been named is sometimes less arduous than in places where, though named, He has not been honored by lives of holy obedience. How were the heathen to see Christianity in action, how feel its force, when so many who went by the name of Christian were nothing more than the descendants of people who had 'crossed over' during 'one of those dreadful mass movements' of the early nineteenth century?" And when I think of those that have gently ridiculed my life by mentioning that I think too much on what even they say is reality:

If those friends who blame... could see what we see, and feel what we feel, they would be the first to wonder that those redeemed by Christ should be so backward in devotion, and know so little of the spirit of self-sacrifice. They would be ashamed of the hesitations that hinder us. But we must remember that it was not by interceding fro the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave Himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give of our superfluity and draw back before the sacrifice of ourselves.
...by M. Coillard, On the Threshold of Central Africa

"So I tried and we tried - and failed. He had to teach us to Be Still and Know. Then when His time came His will was clear." - Amy

I'n waiting ...and watching.